Gas Meter Reader Gifts

"That was delicious, but I really should read your meter now."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

'It's very fast-paced. The book was over before I could finish reading it.'

Can I have a look at the map?

Maternity ward.

'Are you going exploring or retrieving a duck?'

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

Oil shock.

'So much for your internal compass.'

Reading in a hammock.

"I don't care what the map says, this isn't Sheffield."

'Exactly what the forecast on telly.'

Stories about crumbs

Manual Labor.

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

Lab rat in maze, sees 'you are here' map.

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

"Do you get the feeling we're being watched?"

'What does the Scout manual say about this situation?'

'You'll be happy to know that the meter reader and I have arrived at a mutual understanding.'

"Stanley, we're into the summer doldrums again, aren't we?"

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

'They're doing their tests now?

Recalculating!

Tripled his reading speed with no loss in comprehension.

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"