Speed Reader Gifts

'Am I going too fast for you?'

'I did a speed reading course yesterday.' - 'It's incredible! I read Moby Dick in 27 minutes this morning!' - 'It's about a whale or something.'

"The secret to speed reading is skipping every other page."

Tripled his reading speed with no loss in comprehension.

Rapid reading center.

A man reading whilst running on the word LIBRARY

'It's very fast-paced. The book was over before I could finish reading it.'

"I'm entering the school talent show!"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Ancient Racing

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

Bob's Driving School.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

"Barb's such a fast reader."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

A caterpillar is rowing itself along

Computer Controlled Car

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

'Well done Hopkins - I hear you cleared your in tray for the first time in twenty years.'

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

Cow outboard engine

'The only New Year's resolution he's still got intact is not to watch the England cricket team in Australia on television.'

'I'd love to put you behind the wheel of this car. However, I doubt the bank will allow you to finance it for 30,000 months.'

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

Slipstream

"He's new here."

"So the question you need to ask yourself is - 'Just how much of a mid-life crisis can I afford?'"

"Unfortunately, extinction was inevitable for the Have-a-need-for-speed-asaurus."

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

Graduate

'You'll be happy to know that the meter reader and I have arrived at a mutual understanding.'