Garlic Aficionado T-Shirts

'I ate three cloves of garlic before the show: Check the Tamer's expression when he puts his head in my mouth...'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

Flying sauces.

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'What great fall blooms. These flowers make yummy pumpkin pie spice!'

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'You're going to be in heaven. Cindy makes the most amazing carrot cakes!'

A giant glass of red wine

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

"Linguini for two?"

'listen - it's haute cuisine, coming up the river from New Orleans.'

Seasonal workers in the restaurant trade: 'Salt...pepper'.

"How nice. A truffle."

"Stilton's the king, Camembert and chèvre are landed gentry, and cheddars are the serfs, you know."

Cannibal recipes.

Source of Information

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"My compliments to Mummy!"

F&E Produce. I had interesting customers today. First, a beautician checked out the purple potatoes and yellow beets. Ah, a hair stylist inspected the colored roots! That card shark bought some fruit. Two pears, I'll bet! A journalist was searching for an onion alternative. He needs leeks! And labor negotiators requested to increase their usual vegetable order. They asked for a celery hike, eh? I think the customers are the best part of this job. Yeah, you never know who will turnip!

Baker Makes Sexy Dough

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'