Garden Transformers Gifts

Give me a sign that you're making your overgrown garden more attractive! I was about to! Good! Not what I was hoping for! Backyard wildlife sanctuary.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

Nothing is Lost Everything is Transformed.

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

Chameleon humor...'I never metamorphosis I didn't like...'

"I don't care that you personalized your work area, but stop yelling 'Howdy, neighbor!' to everyone you see!"

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

'Since you think better in there, Hawkins, how's the McNulty account coming?'

Hell's Allotment Holders.

'If you could learn to open up a little, you might make a few more sales.'

"I'm ready to switch"

"I've been trying for ages to get that old skinflint to buy me a modern cooker!"

'This is the dawning of the age of asparagus...!'

A little powder and a little paint makes a girl what she ain't!

"Of course, after I became a PETA member I had to get rid of the heads."

The Little Burner Phone that Could.

Bob's new year's resolution was to give up his obnoxious, monstrous, macho streak...he vowed to ditch the leaf blower!

"Grandpa is so old he can remember the first time he saw someone walking down the street talking on a phone"

Tombstones have names of vegetables on them.

Man tries on cape

"I almost fell off the treadmill."

'Man, I need to update my business.'

'My name was actually Smithkowicz, but they heaven-ized it to Smith.'

HELL's TILLERS.

"I know I live just around the corner, but it's taken 6 years for me to come here..."

An angry engineer getting out of a train that has had to stop because a woman has taken some railroad ties out to build a flower garden in the middle of the tracks.

Fitness Workshop for 'Adult Children of Sedentary Parents.

He's still not tawkin'... You want I should whacik him, boss?

'There HAS to more to life than this!!'