Garden Sleuth T-Shirts

'I don't think the killer would in the garden...that'd be waaaay too obvious.'

"For the second night in a row, someone has mysteriously added soil to my vegetable patch - the plot thickens!"

Organic Crime

'Now what did you bury?'

Sistus Curiosa

Eco-Anxiety For All Seasons

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

Is Gypsie Moth in YOUR Garden? Signs to look for...

"They stay together for the money."

"If I were a TV reporter, I'd report only good stuff!"

After the curevac disaster: German overnment now invests in a serious pharmaceutical company.

'Those artificial flowers look so lifelike it's unusual.'

My first dead gnome!

Midnight in the Vegetable Garden of Good and Evil.

'Holmes and Gardens' 'What's on'

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

"Peter went in last Sunday to prune...but I haven't seen him since"

'Pssst...hey, buddy, I got the good stuff for all your urban farming needs!'

Is Gypsy Moth in Your Garden?

'American Harlequin ladybird. It can give one quite a nasty nip.'

House detective.

'Looks like rain. I'm finishing for the day!'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

'Heat seeking missile.'

"It's the latest in backpacking supplies. Just add water!"

Yard sale sign states: Profits Go 4 Gas.

'Later on we'll tell them it's oil.'

'It must be an entirely different species.'

'Have you lost the plot?'