Home Sleuth T-Shirts

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

I'd rather be phishing.

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

Don't look know, but I think you're being Googled.

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

'...if he only knew what I wrote about him on my blog.'

'I don't think the killer would in the garden...that'd be waaaay too obvious.'

"We've gleaned all we need to know about you from the internet, but we'll keep your resume as a great example of creative writing."

'He's not having an affair Ma'am: He goes out at night mainly to chase cars and eat from garbage bins...'

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

What security flaw?

"I love people-watching."

Able to Google Stuff Man

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

'It's okay, mom. I go through this every day at school.'

'If he's innocent, why does he need such a hot-shot lawyer?'

"Have you ever noticed how the eyes seem to follow you around the room?"

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'