Garden Performer T-Shirts

'This is the dawning of the age of asparagus...!'

Cocktails on the verandah.

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

The Music Seed

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

The Phantom Of The Garden

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

Burt was a true artist and conservationist. He recycled his beer cans...Making an ornate garden wall and rockery.

'Where are you going?'

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

"Thanks for inviting us over to try out your new hot tub!"

Wife growing vegetables in husband's piano

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

Beer Garden Kit

"She's had a lot of work done."

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

"Yeah, most people are surprised when they learn I'm actually a lyricist."

The Arcimboldo Arrangement

'Dan sculpted the shrubs to look like hunters to keep the deer from eating them.'

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

'Higgins, gardening is pretty simple. The roses love champagne, the rhododendrons prefer gin tonic, the birch trees are crazy for single malt and the lawn could kill for a good chardonnay.'

'My Dad gave him a parking ticket for standing on his vegetable patch!'

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

Of course nothing grew --- You just put drumsticks in the ground! I was trying to grow beets.

Rabbits: Nature's marshmallow

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

Topiary bushes in the form of pointing hands. People are looking in the directions that the fingers are pointing.

Botanical violinist

Garden Variety Irish

'I borrowed Timmy's model plane to crop dust the garden.'

'Manfred went to look for the lawnmower - now I've lost him, too!'