Garden Gossip Gifts

Boy reading about enormous gooseberries in the local newspaper

Avoid Constant Borrowing

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Watering the garden gnome

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

The Life of a Sentient Rock

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

For the new gardener.

Give Chlorophyll.

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

'Bloody Joneses! Just because we've put in a new fishpond...'

Adam and eve do their laundry,

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

Break up the hard soil around plants...and do everything possible to provide moisture...

"My Gary is such a thoughtful husband! First he walked the dog, then prepared the duck for lunch. It was a fantastic meal, wasn't it?"

'Mind you, I make up for it on my husband when I get home.'

"I can't wait to see the look on everyone's faces when I tell them their meager side salads were grown right here in Brooklyn!"

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!

Blades of grass watching horror movie of lawnmower cutting grass.

'Like I told you yesterday, I think this is a bunch of nonsense.'

'I've told you before, I don't like broccoli.'

Leaf Blower Showdown.

Flower pot tries to escape to the next balcony.

'There goes the scourge of this county.'

November: Your lawn will have stopped growing now.

"I think you'd better switch the water feature off."

"Excuse me, I have a cold."

'Anyway. It's been nice, but I can't stand here chatting all day.'

'I didn't say a squirrel was on our bird feeder again...I said Earl was on our bird feeder again!'

'He's over-stayed his welcome and I'm starting to doubt his story about being a distant relative.'

"Before you take him...any chance you can kill some of this crabgrass?"

"I think I know what all that digging was about next door."

'How are we supposed to sleep with that Dawn Chorus of lawn mowers...?'