Garden Gossip Pillows

Boy reading about enormous gooseberries in the local newspaper

Avoid Constant Borrowing

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Watering the garden gnome

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

The Life of a Sentient Rock

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

Give Chlorophyll.

For the new gardener.

'Bloody Joneses! Just because we've put in a new fishpond...'

Adam and eve do their laundry,

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

Break up the hard soil around plants...and do everything possible to provide moisture...

'Mind you, I make up for it on my husband when I get home.'

"My Gary is such a thoughtful husband! First he walked the dog, then prepared the duck for lunch. It was a fantastic meal, wasn't it?"

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!

"I can't wait to see the look on everyone's faces when I tell them their meager side salads were grown right here in Brooklyn!"

'Like I told you yesterday, I think this is a bunch of nonsense.'

'I've told you before, I don't like broccoli.'

Leaf Blower Showdown.

Flower pot tries to escape to the next balcony.

'There goes the scourge of this county.'

November: Your lawn will have stopped growing now.

"I think you'd better switch the water feature off."

"Excuse me, I have a cold."

'I didn't say a squirrel was on our bird feeder again...I said Earl was on our bird feeder again!'

'Anyway. It's been nice, but I can't stand here chatting all day.'

"Have you been talking to the flowers again?"

'How are we supposed to sleep with that Dawn Chorus of lawn mowers...?'

'He's over-stayed his welcome and I'm starting to doubt his story about being a distant relative.'

"Before you take him...any chance you can kill some of this crabgrass?"

'My husband used to be an avid gardener, but now all he does is plant himself.'