Garden Goofball Gifts

"Ewww....Banana slug hammocks really cross me out."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Shoot For The Moon

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

The Deaths take a selfie.

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

'I think we'll have to call the fire brigade again.'

"This place has the best vegan nachos!"

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

'The special today is scraps.'

Ostritch Gangsters.

'Remember when we used to call them Wallflowers? The new term is Mingleberries.'

Man is preparing pizza by the slice.

'Can you recommend something pronounceable?'

(Can't) Count Dracula.

'More Christmas anyone?'

Man in snow globe clears snow.

A mason making a peanut butter sandwich.

'I hope you replace your divots!'

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"Is the Black Cherry Vanilla Beer Coolie any good? That depends on your lack of taste."

'Well, Frank, I've told you a hundred times to tighten your neck bolts, but do you ever listen? Nooo!'

"A backflip with a full twist, handspray pike and a three quarter roll will do nothing to further your cause Mr Laney."