Garden Goofball Gifts

"Ewww....Banana slug hammocks really cross me out."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

Shoot For The Moon

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

The Deaths take a selfie.

"The world revolves around my cat."

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

'I think we'll have to call the fire brigade again.'

"This place has the best vegan nachos!"

'The special today is scraps.'

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

Ostritch Gangsters.

'Remember when we used to call them Wallflowers? The new term is Mingleberries.'

'Can you recommend something pronounceable?'

Man is preparing pizza by the slice.

A Magician struggling to pull a rabbit out of a hat as a rabbit watches from the audience.

(Can't) Count Dracula.

Time-space portal

'More Christmas anyone?'

A mason making a peanut butter sandwich.

Man in snow globe clears snow.

'I hope you replace your divots!'

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

Blades of grass watching horror movie of lawnmower cutting grass.

"Is the Black Cherry Vanilla Beer Coolie any good? That depends on your lack of taste."

'Well, Frank, I've told you a hundred times to tighten your neck bolts, but do you ever listen? Nooo!'

"A backflip with a full twist, handspray pike and a three quarter roll will do nothing to further your cause Mr Laney."