Garden Chucklers Gifts

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Beginning Yarder.

Yard Sale

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'Where are you going?'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Balding gnomes

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"I'm getting awfully tired of raking up you underwear..."

"Have you seen my hot water bottle?"

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."