Game Day Fan Gifts

Rugby player with a convenient toilet in the goal posts

"Stay fair, stay fair, c'mon, stay in... Wait, shouldn't I be running?!"

I'm putting together a group to go to a minor league baseball game this week. So? I'd like a big group. More people means more yelling at the opposing team. And? Don't make me ask directly. Ask or I won't go. Go with us. In the form of a question, supplicant!

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

"Oh, there you are, Doris. I've decided to spend the evening watching the game with your dad."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Bowled over again!

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Raheem Sterling

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

Men can show their emotions!

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

Birds doing the 'wave'.

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

'His wife is very supportive.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"You're the sport on my telly"

"Have you forgotten you're proposing?"

Have you seen my iPhone? No. You lost it? I may have misplaced it. Big deal. You hate it. It'll turn up. Exactly, I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I especially hate the Scrabble app and I absolutely can't wait to find the phone so I can mock it further! Help: I love my iPhone. Oh dear. Trouble brewing. To be continued ...

The game comes first...

"I quit."

Wilfried Zaha

"Sorry, boss, I do care if I ever get back — that was just the peanuts and Cracker Jack talking."

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.