Game Day Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm past the liver, and there's the inflamed gallbladder. ... OK, switch us back to the game...'

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

'What'd I miss?'

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

'You remember...after the Super Bowl last year?'

'And until you DO care who wins the big game, STAY OUT!'

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

'You're always glued to a ball game. You never want to talk about my butcher's cousin's dog.'

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

'Do you have anything to combat Monday Night Football?'

'Now that's what I call a tackle, Brian!'

A field goal kicker kicks his teamate instead of the ball through the goal posts.

"Have you forgotten you're proposing?"

' Hey Honey? One honk for more chips, two honks for more beer, and three honks means clear the path to the bathroom.' Caption: the beginning of the end.

'Sometimes the truth isn't in 'safe' or 'out', but somewhere in between.'

'Ralph doesn't like to miss a single minute of his ball games.'

"If this doesn't work, I'm divorcing him!"

"He always get emotional when th super bow;'s on and the end of football season is finally here..."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Football fans in corona times

Nebraska-Oklahoma

"Offside? By a fingertip? It's football not handball!"

Wilfried Zaha

We interrupt this game because our sponsor has just filed for bankruptcy.

Expansion 2000: The Baton Rouge Ball Boys

"Sorry, boss, I do care if I ever get back — that was just the peanuts and Cracker Jack talking."

Bowled over again!

"I was watching the ball game, having a good time, when all of a sudden there was this insurance company commercial."

Look sharp, women! We're shooting video of our game. I hope it shows our huge victory! Goose! It's for seniors to send to college hockey recruiters. So? It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you look playing the game!

"If we walk him, it will just add to our reputation for passivity and downright indolence."

"... and if you guys don't shape up, I'm going to have to start kicking some butt around here."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Oh no! Don't tell me... Football season started today, right?"

'People who say professional athletes are nothing but arrogant, self-absorbed crybabies are forgetting one thing: we're OVERPAID, arrogant, self-absorbed crybabies.'