Game Day Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm past the liver, and there's the inflamed gallbladder. ... OK, switch us back to the game...'

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

'What'd I miss?'

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

'You remember...after the Super Bowl last year?'

'And until you DO care who wins the big game, STAY OUT!'

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

'You're always glued to a ball game. You never want to talk about my butcher's cousin's dog.'

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

'Do you have anything to combat Monday Night Football?'

'Now that's what I call a tackle, Brian!'

A field goal kicker kicks his teamate instead of the ball through the goal posts.

"Have you forgotten you're proposing?"

' Hey Honey? One honk for more chips, two honks for more beer, and three honks means clear the path to the bathroom.' Caption: the beginning of the end.

'Sometimes the truth isn't in 'safe' or 'out', but somewhere in between.'

'Ralph doesn't like to miss a single minute of his ball games.'

"If this doesn't work, I'm divorcing him!"

"He always get emotional when th super bow;'s on and the end of football season is finally here..."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Football fans in corona times

Nebraska-Oklahoma

"Offside? By a fingertip? It's football not handball!"

Wilfried Zaha

We interrupt this game because our sponsor has just filed for bankruptcy.

Expansion 2000: The Baton Rouge Ball Boys

"Sorry, boss, I do care if I ever get back — that was just the peanuts and Cracker Jack talking."

"I was watching the ball game, having a good time, when all of a sudden there was this insurance company commercial."

"If we walk him, it will just add to our reputation for passivity and downright indolence."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Oh no! Don't tell me... Football season started today, right?"

'People who say professional athletes are nothing but arrogant, self-absorbed crybabies are forgetting one thing: we're OVERPAID, arrogant, self-absorbed crybabies.'

"Would you guys shut up and let me watch the game?"

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.