Gambling Joke Lover Pillows

'Excuse me, but do you have any 'Play in one more poker tournament and you're a dead man' cards?'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

Inventing the roulette wheel.

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'

Wedding Coin Tosser

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

Slug roulette.

"I bet you $10 the next insect we catch is caught in Sector 5..."

"No, it's not some new wearable tech."

"Psst ... it's your bookie."

IRS AUDIT DIVISION, 'Want to make it double or nothing?'

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

'-and make sure you back one to lose THAT shirt on!'

Casino - We never lose.

'No presents, children, because know it all Santa lost all the money on 'Christmas Cracker' in the 2.30 at Haydock.'

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you WIN.'

'Don't bother me now Edith, I only need one more number to win the lottery jackpot!'

'My dad's very kind to animals. Yesterday he put his shirt on a horse that was scratched.'

Roulette pool.

I was dead lucky at the races yesterday, I forgot my wallet at home!

'I asked what your lucky numbers were so I could buy you a lottery ticket.'