Gallery Exhibition Gifts

"Artsy. But not fartsy."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

Candle Portraits.

Painting taking root...

It's a call from Tate modern.

Picasso: The Early Years

Creation of Red Wine

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

Art Gallery.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

'I think it's the best thing you've ever done!'

"I read 'Art News.'"

"That must be the artist over there."

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Woodworms at a sculpture gallery.

"This piece resembles my subconscious desire to draw spirals on a big piece of paper."

Private Viewing

"Outré or simply bad?"

Art of Surviving

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

Instant art

'You're no Pollock.'

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."