Art Exhibitions Gifts

'It's from my strange-but-not-as-strange-as-I-am-now period.'

"Yes, your work does speak to me and it's telling me you can't paint."

Tracey Emin - Private view.

'There is nothing wrong with your eyes. They all really looked like that.'

"I can't imagine bringing a child into the current art world."

'We must be early. It hasn't started yet.'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

They say the artist found his muse in a bottle of Cabernet Souvingnon.

'I know the artist has to suffer, but why should I?'

"He's not a third- rate second-rate artist. He's a first-rate third-rate artist."

"I like it, it takes me back to my childhood."

Whistler exhibition - "I trust you will have some apposite comments to make eh, Ruskin?

"He used art to break down barriers. That, of course, and the sledge hammer."

"I've no idea what it's supposed to be....."

'I knew I'd find you here.'

'That is a nude, sir.'

"It's called yellow on blue."

Woman in art gallery looks at canvas reading 'This canvas intentionally left blank'.

Gallery of Modern Art

"I don't know art, but I know what I like."

"You'll learn in this business that there's no bad art...just bad checks."

Graffiti

"Hey! What's the big idea!"

'I'm really a painter and decorator - I only do this to pay the bills.'

"I haven't seen their work before, I like their use of light!"

Unfinished Masterpiece.

"I think what I was TRYING to say with this piece was that I wanted a new car. . ."

"I suffer for my art..."

"Well I think it stinks!"

Artist paints clothes to nude paintings.

"Well sure, as art it sucks, but that's a lot of bricks to move."

"I'm expected to write a good review of this stuff... So here I go with some confusing art rhetoric."

"Who's the artist?"

A Member of the Tate.

Three dogs look at a picture of a bone, with tails wagging.