Galaxy Traveler Gifts

"So, where are you headed to next?"

'Looks like we're gonna have to work on your table manners'

UFO and snowman

"Space wants to kill you."

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

How am I abducting?

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

"Take me to your mechanic."

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

There is No Planet C

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Hey, you! -- What happened to the pet dinosaurs we left here?'

An alien dog hangs its head out the flying saucer.

"Wow! You do have a triple A membership!"

An Alien on the Moon waiting for his Alien dog to finish Peeing.

Parking meter on the moon.

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"Oh well, at least it's not Earth."

"A trillion bottles of beer on the wall, a trillion bottles of beer..."

'Gen-Xers in their retirement years.'

We've got to move closer to work. These 200 light year commutes are killing me.

"Let's f**k up Mars!"

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."