Galactic Travelers Gifts

Darth Vader advertises nasal strips.

"Do you really want to visit that planet on our honeymoon? It's a dump!"

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Take me to your mechanic."

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

'Hey, you! -- What happened to the pet dinosaurs we left here?'

An alien dog hangs its head out the flying saucer.

"Oh well, at least it's not Earth."

An Alien on the Moon waiting for his Alien dog to finish Peeing.

Parking meter on the moon.

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"Evolution, here I come!" "Oh, no - the sea level is rising!" "There's still a chance!"

"A trillion bottles of beer on the wall, a trillion bottles of beer..."

'Gen-Xers in their retirement years.'

"Let's f**k up Mars!"

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

You're gonna have to put that thing in "UFO mode."

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

Christmas on Other Planets.

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

'You just can't win. I'm getting charged a ridiculous service fee, since we're in an outer stellar market, using a non-galaxy ATM machine!'

It says, 'Billions of Babies on Board.'