Galaxy Navigator Gifts

"The map says to take a right at that planetary dumpster fire."

Airlines

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

Boptimism

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'Why can't you admit you're lost?'

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"Whatever it is, we're up to our necks in it!"

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

"Oh well, at least it's not Earth."

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

Leaving a Real Impression: That's one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Rocket.

We've got to move closer to work. These 200 light year commutes are killing me.

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

Obama's Theoretical Voting Record

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

'Take me to your feeder,'

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

"You are here"

'What do you think of the new Mars Mover I just ordered from The Whole Mars Catalogue?'

Life in the fastest lane.

"The best place to make black hole discoveries is in the bedroom."

Goose checking his GPS.

'Geez, what's with the delay?'