Universe Navigator Gifts

'Your resume said you had experience related to astronomy - could you elaborate?' 'I've spent a lot of time staring into space.'

'I've seen out to the limit of the observable universe, and believe me, it's no better out there than it is here.'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

"Whatever it is, we're up to our necks in it!"

You are Here

'They've found life as we know it exists on other planets. Species all over the universe leave their car lights on and drain their batteries.'

'I have to say, the stars are magnificent in the desert at night...'

'From Earth? -- You're not that Geraldo guy, are you?'

'Really? -- I'd always assumed that Ross Perot was one of us.'

'So, Pluto, you prefer the term 'little planet' to 'dwarf planet.' Is that correct?'

'Whaddayaknow - black hole in one!'

Mother Planet: 'Oh oh QUICK Honey,look! JARRED'S First Orbit!!' A Baby planet makes it's first Orbit

'Good. Now slide the 'O' ring over the hubble's sleeve there in front of you.'

"Houston - we are landing in the crater now. . . on first viewing, this planet looks uninhabited. . ."

Infinity signpost...

Discovery of life in the outer cartoon universe.

Big Bang Theory.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Isn't the universe wonderful?" "I thought there was supposed to be fireworks."

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

Hitch-hiking Penguin.

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

Slinky Cow World

A man looks up at the earth

Beyond the known and the unknown.

The Big Tipper

Emergency exit into Space