Universe Navigators Gifts

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

Big Bang Theory.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

"Isn't the universe wonderful?" "I thought there was supposed to be fireworks."

Slinky Cow World

A man looks up at the earth

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Whatever it is, we're up to our necks in it!"

The Big Tipper

Beyond the known and the unknown.

Emergency exit into Space

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

"Something goes around something, but that's as far as I've got."

"Space exploration"

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

Well, I finished my summer reading list – now what?

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

'Say again: a train going 50 Miles Per Hour leaves Chicago heading to a black hole where the rules of motion change as a function of distance from a singularity ... and then what?'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.