Galactic Grouch Pillows

First Cynic in Space

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Boptimism

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Vaccinating Death

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

"First, go fix your head. You've got Hibernation Head."

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

Expanding Sun engulfs Planets

"Are you sure they'll be able to read English?"

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

Black Hole Corks

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

"Hurry children, space is limited!"