Morning Grouch Pillows

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'Well, I consider myself handicapped until I have my first cup of morning coffee...'

'What do you mean, you've had a terrible day? You just got up five minutes ago.'

'Uggh, is that the time? I've gotta be everywhere in 20 minutes.'

Wake up.

'The only good thing about the World Cup is it gets him out of bed before lunchtime!'

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

Lionel's leg had gone to sleep.

"Wow. I need either new glasses or a new hairdo."

To think - I could have married Harold. He was illiterate.

'I don't think there actually is a right side of the bed for you to wake up on, Dear!'

'Oh yeah? Try to sleep in when your dad is a rooster!'

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

'Good Morning Handsome'

Early Attempt at an Alarm Snooze Button

'Your father hasn't had his first cup of coffee yet.'

"It would be helpful if the first words out of your mouth every morning weren't 'J'accuse.'"

"If you must paw something, why don't you hit the snooze button?"

"Who needs an alarm clock when it's daylight savings time."

'Post-Hibernation Blues'

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."

"Don't pretend it's a pet, you're just too mean to buy an alarm clock!"

"First, go fix your head. You've got Hibernation Head."

' Wake up dear.You don't want to be late for the office.'

'I'm afraid you caught me at a bad time - I'm still semi-conscious!'

Dave got up on the wrong side of the bed again.

'Don't worry, dear... I'll fix the coffee... where do you keep the tap water?'

'Separate bedrooms aren't enough -- we need separate breakfast nooks.'

"Is that coffee I smell?" "It is - and you do."

'The doctor said I shouldn't drink so much coffee. Does it look like I'm drinking?'

"Ugh! Spring breath."

"Baldo! Wake up! You're late!"

Office workers describing their mornings

"Good God, man. You look like you didn't sleep in a hole last night."

Which Cup? 'Me' or 'Real Me'?