Morning Grouch Tamers Pillows

"Jump-start?"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

Vaccinating Death

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"First, go fix your head. You've got Hibernation Head."

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

Babies

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

Safari man shearing lions mane.

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.