Morning Grouch Tamers Pillows

"Jump-start?"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Vaccinating Death

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

You have the worst spring breath.

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"First, go fix your head. You've got Hibernation Head."

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

Buzz. Go away. Buzz buzz. I'm up! The alarm clock always wants it more than you do.

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

Babies

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

Safari man shearing lions mane.

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'