Morning Mayhem Pillows

'Well, Hawkins, I see you made it to work on time.'

Future garbage truck driver.

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

Hallowe'en wake up call

"Tough time getting out of the house this morning?"

'Good morning!'

Hey, it's 5am somewhere, am I right?

It's the little surprises that keep a marriage exciting...

"Dad's half asleep. He was using the fly swatter to flip the pancakes."

"I hate a sarcastic cup of coffee."

'Quick, the coffee!'

Cow sneezes milk at breakfast.

A severe case of getting up on the wrong side of bed...

'It's a popular new flavor - It tastes like you're asleep!'

'Bill's alarm clocks were going off early today.'

Good Hair Day

The Noisy Neighbours

Behind the 8 Ball

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

Wordilly Durdillies - Larry needed time to get his head together

'Okay, Bancroft - here we go again.'

Three-Martini Breakfast

'I got up at 5:30 once and caught a worm -- it wasn't worth it, believe me.'

"IOU 1 BAGEL."

Wife woken by husband shooting rabbits from the bedroom window

"So this is what you do when I pretend to leave, then come back unexpectedly in five minutes."

'How can one person do so many stupid things?'

Just a sec...

He awoke,regretting having installed a wrong side of the bed.

"Jump-start?"

'Wife's having a makeover...daughter's having a sleepover...Firm's having a takeover. I have a hangover...and you?'

'He's always wide awake at the crack of ice!'

"Look at it this way, Herb....at least the paperboy didn't throw it on the roof this time!"