Gag Gift Connoisseur Pillows

'Completely Useless Tools: An inflatable hammer.'

Secular Cloisters

'He stubbed-my-toe yell sounds a lot like his chest-pounding victory yell.'

"Great! Six months training and he gets knocked out by a *!@?!@ microphone!!"

How do I know it's yours?

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Bubble Gum Farms.

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Lavatory Waterfall

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

The magic of April Fools' morning.

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'