Gag Gift Admirer Pillows

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Lavatory Waterfall

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"Sure I can't pop that in a bag for you, sir?"

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

Emergency Underpants

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"