Futuristic Viticulturist Gifts

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Robotic Man

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

'Who's the new guy?'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

I never heard of chunky style wine. I couldn't find any seedless grapes.

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

Taken genetic engineering too far

Nouveau wine

"I 3-D printed my dinner!"

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

Small time farmer sees Superfarm robots next door

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

'I think we can skip the resume.'

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

Serving wine - "I make it myself."

Error in low-fat pizza design.

Hydroponic Gardening

"Robot waiters are OK, but I just wish they wouldn't hover so."

'Are you ready for dessert?'

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

'Of course, here in Australia we have to learn to contend with vineyard pests that are unique to our locale.'