Futures Forecaster Gifts

'Tomorrow's prices.'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

European currency on the edge.

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

Pessimists v Optimists.

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'Well they often get it wrong.'

Budgetmageddon

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

What will happen in the world

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

Minority Report Is Real

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

Fortune teller sees impending doom

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."