Financial Future Forecaster Gifts

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

European currency on the edge.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"I don't like the look of this."

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

"It will be all your fault."

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

Pessimists v Optimists.

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

Budgetmageddon

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

'Well they often get it wrong.'

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

What will happen in the world

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"