Economic Forecaster Gifts

"Being adversaries got stale, so now we're drinking buddies."

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

'Your shares are doing well... No wait, they're falling, no they're rising, no falling and rising...'

With uncertainty over what happens after Brexit we can't trust to our traditional forecast models..."

"I told you so!"

A Dow Jones Industrial Average Correction Is Near

'I used to be a financial analyst - but all my predictions of economic meltdown came true!'

'Well they often get it wrong.'

"My financial advisor is very cautious and pessimistic. He's forecasted ten of the last three market downturns."

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

European currency on the edge.

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

City Redundancies - In? Out?

Pessimists v Optimists.

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

'Look, dear, they offer cloud storage for optimistic economic projections...it's called Cloud 9.'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'