Financial Forecaster Gifts

Had volumes of data at my fingertips and still didn't see this one coming.

The end of the economy is coming!

Despite recent uncertainty, analysts said today they will continue to make predictions.

"Oh, nothing, just a raven and a vulture riding on the back of a black swan. Can you get my stockbroker on the phone?"

Economic Forecasting.

'Wait a minute! This isn't your future... it's Ken Lay's future.'

'Well, we have to make a decision. Heads he's a pessimist, tails he's a realist.'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

'Tell me my net worth in 10 years if I'm fully invested in grwoth funds...corporate bonds...high yield bonds...'

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'Who will make the most money three years from now, athletes or sports agents?'

'What the hell's going on down there!'

"Firstly I'd like to welcome our new board member, Madame Zelda...she'll be managing the futures market."

"This doesn't bode well."

"Forget about my love life. What will the consumer confidence index be?"

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"Economists, and these days we're missing more and more of the poor souls."

Business Report - "...buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy..."

"I am enclosing my tax returns for 2002 / 2003, 2003 / 2004 .. "

Bookshop selling investment advice books.

'It's a glorious day over Wall Street today, with barely a 20 chance of the sky falling.'

Ground Hog Market

'I'm worried - she insisted on closing every one of her accounts while she waited...'

'We now serve 'Fortune 500' fortune cookies!'

"We project our next quarter will be better, providing there is a next quarter."

European currency on the edge.

I'd like to know what Edward George is thinking.

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

"It's tragic to see someone normally so controlled, losing control of himself...his faculties!"

'Something is going on in the market, Watkins! I've got the jitters and I've got 'em bad!'

'Our grant money is due in today and I had a dream last night that it would be small.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Well, we'll either wipe off the third world debt or pay the contractors invoice"

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'