Financial Forecasters Gifts

"Sometimes late at night I'm not sure the leading economic indicators know where they're going."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"This is a very bad omen...your check is going to bounce!"

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

European currency on the edge.

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"I don't like the look of this."

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

'Well they often get it wrong.'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"What the hell happened to this town?"

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

Wall Street Lights.

'Son, someday you're going to be short all of this.'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

"Someday a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the street. But today, expect occasional sprinkles."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'It's a glorious day over Wall Street today, with barely a 20 chance of the sky falling.'

Forecasters are two a penny. Supply exceeds demand.