Corporate Forecaster Gifts

'Now, the forecast for the next quarter... the fortune cookie please.'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

European currency on the edge.

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"I don't like the look of this."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

Pessimists v Optimists.

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

Budgetmageddon

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'Well they often get it wrong.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

What will happen in the world

Minority Report Is Real

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."