Financial Fortune Forecaster Gifts

'Some day, son, all of this will be your ex-wife's.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Asking out a palm reader.

European currency on the edge.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Quantum Psychic

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Channelling on the Cheap

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Pie Filling Reader

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"I don't like the look of this."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'