Fantasy Forecaster Gifts

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

European currency on the edge.

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

Pessimists v Optimists.

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

Budgetmageddon

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

What will happen in the world