Forecast Fortune Gifts

"I see rain in the near future. And for your full forecast, call me now and for ninety-nine cents a minute I'll tell you."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Why bother?"

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

European currency on the edge.

Asking out a palm reader.

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

Pie Filling Reader

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'