Future Prediction Gifts

'Know your future - palmistry, tarot cards, DNA screening'

"Not to worry. I just upgraded to a 5K display monitor, and the future is thirty-three percent clearer."

"Do you see a puppy following me home in the future?"

"Your next of kin is going to inherit a lot of money."

Reading the Leaves.

'Might still makes right, no matter who wins in elections.'

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."

Fortune telling

The Future with Coronavirus

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"One year closer to college!"

Crap from the future.

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

"It will be all your fault."

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

Pessimists v Optimists.

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

"What the hell happened to this town?"

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."