Future Forecasting Gifts

'Everything will turn to gold-but don't worry,it won't last....'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"One year closer to college!"

Crap from the future.

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"It will be all your fault."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

Pessimists v Optimists.

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

'Look, dear, they offer cloud storage for optimistic economic projections...it's called Cloud 9.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."