Future Wellness Fan Gifts

Future massage

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

"I run around this high school track every morning."

Sisyphus during Covid

Exercise Bars

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Reasonableman

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

Valleyview diet clinic

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'