Winter Wellness Fan Gifts

'You have too much salt in your diet.'

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

Sisyphus visits Stowe

"You have to pick the places you don't walk away from."—Joan Didion, Penny, Joan Didion.

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

Recalculating

If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#^* arm.

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

Mountain Rescue for a Dog.

Possums that ski.

'I do enjoy the winter olympics.'

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

Canadians celebrate first Olympic gold medal.

Death skis towards a man on thin ice

"See? I told you I didn’t have to wait in the car."

Dogs on skis pulling a sled

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

Triple Sock Cow

"First thing, Toby—just bend your knees a little and get rid of the cigarette."

"Ed is back from his silent cocoon retreat."

Low Noon.

"You won't see a more naturally gifted skater."

'That's the last time I buy sled dogs on ebay.'

Santa and elves drinking eggnog.

Nice Heater.

Eskimo with 'Canine anti-freeze'

"Ice rink"