Future Third-grader Gifts

'I can't wait until we're in third grade next year. I'm tired of being treated like a second-grade citizen.'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Boy and girl at thier studies

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

Child in a bear suit.

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"At least she's reading."

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

'I can't remember the title, but it began, 'Once upon a time'...'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"Think about the perks. You learn to read, you get a pre-approved library card!"

'Ok, class, let's take attendance. Joey?'

"I see travel and romance. You'll be going away soon. I see a tall, dark stranger with many tattoos."

"I had it all figured out. Sleep late, watch TV, play all day...then kindergarten happened."

"I burden you with the national debt, you burden your kids with it, and so on. . ."

'We're going to insist that he at least finish kindergarten before entering the NBA draft.'

"We want him to skip joined-up writing and get straight on to 3D printing."

"Poor kid, his parents gave him a book for Christmas."

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

'I guess my love for Miss Rogers is over...I passed third grade.'

Kid Reads "The Little Tibetan Book Of The Dead"

"Listen kid, you may have been a big man on playground."

"I do hope this doesn't affect my life plan."

'Someday I'll go to school like the big kids!'

'Go to bed? -- but I'm the webmaster!'

1984: 'I don't know -- probably some historical novel.'

"While we certainly congratulate you on your acceptance to the University of Hawaii, Sandra..."

"All the Dr. Seuss books are currently out, but we do have a locum of work available by other qualified children's authors."

"I think Wendy likes me... she chose me first for her cooperative learning group!"

You Will Eat A Fortune Cookie.