Future Regret Ponderer Pillows

"Johnny, strikes out, and will be thinking about this well into his thirties."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Why bother?"

Totalitarian Humour

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

'I could have made money in the stock market if I had only found the right 'How to invest' book...'

"And what would you like to regret later?"

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

Lady Jane Grey

'Son, someday you're going to be short all of this.'

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

'When will it be o.k. to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

'Don't get your hopes up...the future isn't what it used to be!'

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

"If you never date a prediction it can't be proved wrong."

'According to a recent issue of 'psychology today', all your fears are well founded.'

"Sometimes I wish I went to a magnet school."

"Leon rents out his time machine to people who have to go back and 'un-day' stuff that's now considered offensive."

"Can you wait just a minute while I check my latest horoscope?"

Your weight and fortune. What you'll weigh now...what you'll weigh 10 years from now.

Waking up with a terrible hangover, Joe took a minute to remember what he'd done last night...he spent the rest of his life trying to forget.

"Their entire friendship is based on regret over property they SHOULD have bought when it was affordable."

'How much do you weigh?'

"Do you see a time in the future when I'm less gullible?"

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

'...do I want to risk putting up with someone like me?'