Regret Philosopher Pillows

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

'I could have made money in the stock market if I had only found the right 'How to invest' book...'

Neck tattoo changed from "NO REGRETS" to "REGRETS"

Clinging to the Past

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'Are you going to hate yourself because of this in the morning?' 'I hate myself already!'

Waking up with a terrible hangover, Joe took a minute to remember what he'd done last night...he spent the rest of his life trying to forget.

'If you could go back in time, what would you do differently?' 'Order the chicken.'

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"She can forgive Nixon, but she can't forgive me."

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"And what would you like to regret later?"

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

"Hard to believe that school's almost over."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"I could never leave this place—this is where I grew up."

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

"Their entire friendship is based on regret over property they SHOULD have bought when it was affordable."

"Sometimes I wish I went to a magnet school."

"I was an incurable romantic until I met Martha's divorce lawyer."

"Johnny, strikes out, and will be thinking about this well into his thirties."

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

'It's called 'Frustration'.'

Memories that still sear

"I asked if it would kill her to say'I love you' every once in a while."

"Never get a tattoo when you're drunk and hungry."

"Grief takes many forms. But don't worry, we're here to help you fill them out."

'Time out He pulled a muscle,'

The health dept. begins psychological audits...'And last summer at the bank, when the line was moving very slowly, you started shouting. What was that about?'

'At least getting run over by a hearse fit his sense of humour.'

"A cable technician will be out between the hours of 8:00 AM and 4:00 PM, in the year of 2025. Please push one to confirm the appointment.