Future Parent Humor Gifts

Sperm Race, "First one there's a big cry baby!"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Trick or Tweet

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"Use your inside scream."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

"She's a natural!"

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

Billy strip: help with homework.

Baby reading 'To do list'.

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

A (P)ram.