Future Parent Humor Pillows

Sperm Race, "First one there's a big cry baby!"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

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'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

"Use your inside scream."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"She's a natural!"

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

Baby reading 'To do list'.

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

Billy strip: help with homework.

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"