Future Mommy Gifts

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Baby, baby maker

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

In the club.

Biological Alarm Clock.

'You were a ten month baby. The postman brought you.'

Maternity Hospital

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

'It's Mrs. O'Hara...the one whose due date was 37 days ago...she's angry.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

You and your alternative pregnancy.

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

'I'm on the way!'

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'