Future Mommy Pillows

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Baby, baby maker

Instant Gratification Cafe.

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

In the club.

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

Maternity Hospital

'You were a ten month baby. The postman brought you.'

Congratulations! When are you due?

Biological Alarm Clock.

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

'It's Mrs. O'Hara...the one whose due date was 37 days ago...she's angry.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

'I'm on the way!'

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

You and your alternative pregnancy.