Future Dad Pillows

Doctors talking about ways to confuse patients with jargon.

Doctor checking a man's testicle to find out about fertility problems.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

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"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"That's mine!"

Doughboy Dad

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

"Which one's mine?"

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Baby, baby maker

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"Which one's yours?"

"It's a dependent!"

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

In the club.

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'