Future Dad Pillows

Doctors talking about ways to confuse patients with jargon.

Doctor checking a man's testicle to find out about fertility problems.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

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"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"That's mine!"

Doughboy Dad

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"Which one's yours?"

"Which one's mine?"

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Baby, baby maker

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"It's a dependent!"

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

In the club.

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'