Future Mom Pillows

"Any cravings?"

Doctors talking about ways to confuse patients with jargon.

In the club.

'I'm on the way!'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

Instant Gratification Cafe.

Baby, baby maker

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

Maternity Hospital

'You were a ten month baby. The postman brought you.'

Biological Alarm Clock.

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

You and your alternative pregnancy.